Five Thoughts For Friday: Bizarre Season Predictions

Training camp opened this week, and that means hockey media is in season prediction mode. Here at Silver Seven, we’ve been rolling out our annual Sterling Predictions series, as we try to predict how the new players will perform, where the Sens will end up in the standings, and so on.

In keeping with that theme, I’m throwing out five questions today, but they’re not your typical season prediction questions. As readers of this site know, I’m a big fan of narratives. I want to know what funny things are going to happen this season. What running bits will continue? Which new rivalries will form?

If I get a single one of these right, I expect everyone to congratulate me.

Which new team will Tim Stützle piss off?

One of the funniest things about this version of the Ottawa Senators is that despite the team being almost entirely made up of players like Brady Tkachuk and Ridly Greig who live to annoy their opponents, the most hated player on the team appears to be the polite European player who had never gotten into a fight prior to joining the NHL.

I discussed this topic on the podcast last week, but I know not everyone listens to it, so I’m putting the question here as well. Tim Stützle is already public enemy #1 in Montreal. Toronto hates him too. In both cases, it was because of the diving. It’s understandable; he is very annoying.

A few different options were thrown out on the podcast. Maybe it’ll be a random Central division team that we never think about. Maybe it’ll be the Bruins, because they definitely hate us now because of Ullmark. The Red Wings are always a good bet, given that that rivalry has taken off in recent years and I don’t think their fans like Stützle very much as it is. One egregious dive could be the tipping point.

But my real prediction is the Sabres. I think that rivalry is about to take off, and a Stützle Incident could be the tipping point. Besides, Brady already has the Red Wings rivalry covered.

What will be the weirdest game of the season?

The Sens are a goofy team. Strange things are always happening during their games, but at least once a season things get really weird. I’m thinking of a few Panthers games last year, or maybe the Ridly Greig Slapshot Game. The year before that, it was definitely those two Red Wings games, and before that it was the Stützle vs Gallagher incident. It can be hard to predict them, but I’m going to attempt it anyway.

The first game that jumps out to be on the schedule is January 9th at home against the Sabres. Why? Because that will be their first game back after 9 games on the road - starting with Western Canada, then going home for Christmas before hitting up the Central Division and wrapping up with a visit to Detroit. They’ll have to be away because Ottawa will be hosting the World Juniors. They don’t tend to do particularly well on those types of road trips, and a December losing streak can be disastrous, so there’s a good chance they return to Ottawa very emotional and tired. As I discussed earlier, I think the Sabres rivalry is heating up again, so this game could get weird.

Other options include: 

• Their first game against the Leafs on November 12th, which will also be their first matchup against Toronto since the Ridly Greig Incident™.
• They play Boston twice in one week in January, and given the trade that happened this offseason, there might be some bad blood.
• Their visit to Washington on March 3rd, because for some reason their games against the Capitals are always deeply weird, and hopefully they’ll be in the hunt for a playoff spot in March.

Who will fight Matthew Tkachuk?

Brady and Matthew Tkachuk have made things very clear: they will not fight each other, ever. Even if it would be funny. And yet, ever since Matthew joined the Atlantic division and the Sens started actually trying to be good, the games between them have been heated. The two players have taken to fighting each other by proxy, each choosing a teammate of the other’s to square off against. I think Jake Sanderson has fought Matthew in every game he’s played against him. We’ve also seen Zub take a swing at him.

So who will it be this time?

My money is on Ridly Greig; he and Matthew are the same brand of annoying, and he’s right in the sweet spot of being new enough to want to prove himself, but not so new that he’d be afraid of fighting his captain’s brother.

How many times will Brady Tkachuk attempt a between-the-legs goal?

One of my favourite ongoing storylines on the Ottawa Senators is Brady Tkachuk’s constant, fruitless efforts to pull off his brother’s signature move. I wrote a whole breakdown of the saga a few years ago. I didn’t track his attempts last year, but I know he tried it multiple times and never succeeded. So, will he keep it up this year? Or will he finally give it up?

I’m going big on this prediction. I think he finally pulls it off… in the first game of the season. He has that dad strength, he’s impressing a new coach, and he needs the team to make the playoffs this season. He’s going to be feeling himself from the get go. Opening night is in Montreal, and that’ll give him a bit of extra motivation. He’s going to succeed at the move, and then he’s going to try it over and over and over again over the course of the season, failing every single time. But at least we’ll always have that one moment.

I say the final tally will be 10 attempts. He’ll go 1-9.

Which player will cause a meltdown in Toronto?

Just as Tim Stützle causes controversy everywhere he goes, the Leafs and their fanbase get mad about just about anything. Stützle of course had his moment a few years ago, and Ridly Greig was the star of last season. Will those two be the main characters of the battle of Ontario again this year, or will someone else take the spotlight?

Brady Tkachuk is the obvious answer here, but I think that’s exactly why it won’t be him. Everyone expects Brady to be annoying. There’s no storyline there. The Leafs love beefing with random players for no discernible reason, so I’m going to go way off the board and say they randomly get really mad at Jake Sanderson for something really mild.