Ottawa Senators Goal Songs
What would the individualized goal song for each player on the team?
You may have seen over the summer that the San Jose Sharks are changing their goal song. Other websites have held votes for people to decide what should be the next song they use. Now the Seantors won't be changing their song, since they already unveiled a new song for 2014-15, CFO$'s Break Away. (Also in the playoffs they used the awesome-but-predictable Song 2 by Blur.) The Sens use the opening which consists of the lyrics "Hey!" and "Yeah!". The problem is how much the simple lyrics are reminiscent of Chelsea Dagger, the song used by the Blackhawks. Using a makeshift Chelsea Dagger today is a bit like buying an iPod Touch to fit in with your friends - you're a decade too late. Though the Sens won't change their goal song anytime soon, I think it would be great if the team went back to personalized goal songs. The greatest personalized goal song in Sens' history had to be the Star Trek: The Next Generation theme for Alexandre Picard, but I think there could be some other great ones
Do goalies get their own goal songs? Of course they do! Wouldn't it be terrible if they managed to score a goal, and the poor Senators DJ had nothing ready?
Andrew Hammond: Fast Food Song by Fast Food Rockers
Picture the scene: It's late in a game, the opposition has pulled their goalie, and Hammond decides to shoot for the empty net. The clock is counting down, but the puck looks like it'll make it just before time runs out. The puck crosses the goal line half a second before the game is over, Nightbreak blasts the goal-horn, and then "McDonald's! McDonald's!" starts blaring over the speakers because the Hamburglar just scored, and because everyone gets a free Big Mac for a goal in the last minute. I can't imagine anything more beautiful.
Craig Anderson: Fast Cars and Freedom by Rascal Flatts
Admittedly, this isn't a great goal song. But this probably won't happen, and it definitely won't happen more than once. The fast cars fit Andy's mask, and freedom is an American virtue, right?
Thankfully, probably neither of those will ever happen. On to the defencemen.
Erik Karlsson: Sweet Emotion by Aerosmith.
If you sing it just right, it sounds like you're saying "Swede Emotion". I realize this isn't the greatest pick for a guy who will probably score 20 goals a year (albeit, not all at home), but remember, Ottawa is still a classic rock town. Plus every time I hear this song, I realize it's probably better than I give it credit for.
Marc Methot: Hips Don't Lie by Shakira ft. Wyclef Jean
Let's face it, Methot is known a lot more for his hip-checks than his goals. So even if he scores, you gotta say his hips don't lie. Not to mention, this song gets annoying after approximately 0.46 listens, but Methot has averaged 1.56 goals per season over his career, so you won't have to hear it too often.
Patrick Wiercioch: It's All Been Done by Barenaked Ladies
The Barenaked Ladies seem like the right group to represent goofball Patty Weird Couch. And (hopefully) it's all been done, and he'll now be guaranteed a spot in the top four. Plus who doesn't want to hear a full arena singing "Oo-oo-oo" in falsetto?
Cody Ceci: Home by Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeroes
As the ultimate hometown boy, Ceci just had to get a song called home. This song is more upbeat than Michael Bublé's or Phillip Phillips', plus it gives everyone the chance to whistle and/or air-trumpet along in the instrumental parts.
Mark Borowiecki: Can't Feel My Face by The Weeknd
"I can't feel my face when I'm with you" sums up the feelings of basically anyone who's fought Borocop.
Jared Cowen: Seinfeld Theme by Jonathan Wolff
C'mon, the guy's name can be shortened to Jerry, and he looks like Seinfeld. What more could you ask for?
Chris Wideman: Don't You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds
Simply put: the organization did forget about him, and then he went on to be the AHL's best defenceman in 2014-15. Every time he scores this year is a reminder to the team to forget him at their peril. Unless his game doesn't translate to the NHL. Then his song is probably more Irreplaceable by Beyoncé.
Chris Phillips: I Will Remember You by Sarah McLachlan
If Phillips finds his way into a game this year, and manages to score a goal, it'll be his last hurrah. Let's remember, this is a guy whose career high is eight goals in 82 games (which he's managed twice). This song was good enough for Gretzky's goodbye, so it should work for Phillips'. Naturally, if Phillips scores two goals this year, the joke will be ruined and this will have been a terrible idea. So I recommend Truckin' by the Grateful Dead for all subsequent goals, because it just fits with a guy whose nickname is Big Rig. Besides, Phillips has been truckin' along, basically unnoticed, for his whole career.
And now, on to the forwards, the people who will hopefully actually score a lot of goals.
Mika Zibanejad: Say My Name by Destiny's Child
Have you ever heard a commentator say his name correctly? Me neither.
Colin Greening: It's the End of the World as We Know It by Great Big Sea
This one has two positives: one, it's St. John's' own Great Big Sea playing for St. John's' own Colin Greening; two, if Colin Greening scores a goal in open play, we'll know it's the end of the world.
Mike Hoffman: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk
Because he's harder, better, faster, and stronger than management seems to give him credit for.
Curtis Lazar: Smile by Nat King Cole
Lazar embodies the principle of smiling every time something goes wrong. You may notice that this is a pretty lame goal song. But what should you do when your goal song is a slow swing number from the 50s? Ask Curtis, and he'd tell you to just smile. Honourable mention: I'm An Adult Now by The Pursuit of Happiness
Jean-Gabriel Pageau: The Cup of Life by Ricky Martin
A chorus that goes "Olé olé olé"? Sounds like it was written for Pageau. And if it in fact goes "Allez allez allez" as some sites report, that's even better for the pride and joy of Gatineau, QC.
Clarke MacArthur: How You Like Me Now? by The Heavy
As we all know, the Maple Leafs gave up on MacArthur, only to see him light it up with Ottawa the following year. Though it's already been more than two years of the MacArthur experiment in Ottawa, every time he scores still feels like vindication.
Alex Chiasson: Mr. Cellophane from the Chicago original soundtrack
I struggled a lot to come up with a song for Toaster. You could go the French Canadian route and pick a song by a Québécois artist. You could play up his last name by picking (Chasing) Waterfalls or Chasing Pavements or Chasing Cars. There's the whole thing about him being the supposed centrepiece of the Jason Spezza trade. Still, there's nothing that really sets him apart. He's possibly the most vanilla player on the Sens' roster - adequate at most things, excellent at nothing. It's easy to miss him during a game. In other words, he's this team's Mr. Cellophane.
Shane Prince: Let's Go Crazy by Prince
There really was only one artist who could provide a goal song for Prince: the artist formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince. This is easily his (the artist's, not the athlete's) best party anthem. Honourable mention goes to Kiss. (Side note: in the battle between artists and Youtube, Prince seems to be doing better than anyone else at keeping his music off the site.)
Matt Puempel: Pump It Up by Elvis Costello
You should've seen this one coming from a mile away. Seriously, if you didn't, feel shame.
Milan Michalek: Mr. Roboto by Styx
The perfect song for good ol' robo-knees. And from an entertainment perspective, every time Milo scores, the arena cam can zoom in on fans attempting the Robot.
Chris Neil: As Good As I Once Was by Toby Keith
This ode to having been better in your younger years just seems so right for Neil. He may have lost a step, but every once in a while he can still mix it up like he used to.
Bobby Ryan: Money Money Money by Abba
Let's not forget, Bobby Ryan is making more than $50-million over the next seven years. That's a lot of cash. And we'll be reminded just how rich he's gonna be every time he scores at home.
Zack Smith: Stay With Me by Sam Smith
I have to admit, when I thought about doing a song by an artist with same last name, I wanted to a Will Smith song. However, this plea by Z Smith not to get traded just seemed far more appropriate. The slowness of the song and the awkwardness of its message to management will have you wishing for him to score in each and every home game.
Mark Stone: Rainy Day Women #12 & 35 by Bob Dylan
Stone scores, and an arena of 18,000 people sings "Everybody must get stoned." Every. Single. Time. It'll be glorious as a Sens fan, and probably very annoying for anybody else.
Kyle Turris: Booty by Jennifer Lopez (feat. Pitbull)
Though Rock You Like A (T)urricane was the easy choice here, we all know that Turris' greatest asset is his #BigBootyPoppin. Every time he scores, we'll all be reminded of this fact.
So which was your favourite? Are there any for which you have a better idea? Let us know in the comments!