Ottawa Senators Get Blown Out 6-0 by St Louis Blues

Well, that was just sad.

Tonight’s tilt between the Ottawa Senators and the St. Louis Blues was both boring and pathetic. It was a game in which the Sens either decided to take the day off, or simply forgot how to hockey. Maybe both. I don’t even know why I’m bothering to write a full recap tonight when the Sens couldn’t be bothered to play a full game of halfway decent hockey. I should have just inserted a poo emoji and called it a day. That would have summed up this game accurately enough.

Let’s just say it was bad.

So if you sat through all sixty painful minutes of that pathetic excuse for a sports contest, give yourself a pat on the back. You were clearly more emotionally invested in this game than the players were. If you drove out to Kanata in the snow tonight, all I can say to you is that I’m sorry. You deserved better.

And if you didn’t watch the Sens tonight, congratulations on making healthy life choices. I don’t know why you want to know what happened while you were off doing something productive with your life, but just in case, let me explain it to you.

The first period began with an exciting sequence courtesy of Mike Hoffman, who Guy Boucher finally decided to play on the first line with Brassard and Stone, after burying him on the Pageau line for most of the season. Hoffman is good enough that he can play with just about anyone, but putting him with Ottawa’s best forward is a good way to jumpstart the offense by creating a definitive first line. While the change didn’t result in any goals for the Senators (obviously), I can definitively say that the trio didn’t look terrible throughout the game.

St. Louis quickly countered the Senators’ offense with a number of good chances against Andrew Hammond. In his first game back from injury, the Hamburglar stood tall to keep the score even at 0 despite facing 10 shots in the first frame. He also managed not to get injured, which I guess is a pretty big accomplishment for him at this point.

The second period was decidedly, mind-numbingly uneventful, at least on Ottawa’s side of things. St. Louis scored an early goal, when Magnus Paajarvi caught Zack Smith attempting to skate backwards to cover for Marc Methot. It was a generally lackadaisical sequence by the Senators, which would end up setting the tone for the rest of the game.

With Methot off for hooking, Ottawa was caught running around in their own zone on the penalty kill, resulting in a goal for Vladimir Tarasenko. It’s hard to place the blame on Hammond for not stopping that shot, as I’ll bet even Erik Condra could have scored if given that much time and space.

The only other significant event of the second period was an Ottawa chance that was shut down by an early whistle. And not even the kind of early whistle we’re used to. No, this time the puck was way out in the open, untouched by any of players on the ice, clearly visible to all except, apparently, the referee. Not that it made a huge difference in the long run. At least it wasn’t against the Habs in the playoffs this time.

A few minutes into the third, St. Louis scored again to go ahead 3-0. Boucher challenged the goal, which looked offside, but the refs deemed it inconclusive, and so the goal stood.

Then a whole lot of nothing happened.

The Sens looked bad. Lifeless. Pathetic even. It seemed they would never score again. They still might not.

A pass destined for Phaneuf was picked up by a Blues player, who easily walked around Hoffman for a goal that Hammond probably should have had.

Then the Blues scored two more ugly goals, one of which was a first NHL goal, because Sens.

Finally, the buzzer sounded and everyone was able to move on with their lives. Except me. I had to relive the game by writing up this recap.

Sens Hero: The Fans

Yes, you. The person who had to put up with this. YOU are the real hero of this game. The only hero.

Honourable Mention: Mike Hoffman

He was okay. Better than the rest of his team, at least.

Honourable Mention: Kyle Turris

When is Turris not good? He is the most consistent, reliable player alive.

Sens Zero: Marc Methot

A bad penalty and a role in the first goal against makes him our Zero for the day.

Sens Zero: Andrew Hammond

The Hamburglar definitely doesn’t deserve all the blame for this loss, but he could have been a lot better. There’s a good chance he never plays another game for the Sens after this.

Game Flow:

Heatmap:

I mean... at least we didn’t lose 10-0 to the Blue Jackets?