Sign in Subscribe

Satire

In memory of competitive Ottawa Senators teams of days gone by...

With the Ottawa Senators loss to the Carolina Hurricanes last night, the ride is officially over: According to SportsClubStats, the Senators are officially eliminated from the 2011 NHL playoff race. Sure, we all saw it coming from a mile away, but the fact that it is now official, well, it

Silver Seven Exclusive: Craig Anderson's "Welcome to Ottawa" pamphlet

Yesterday, Ottawa announced they had signed goaltender Craig Anderson to a 4-year contract worth $12.75M, meaning a cap hit of roughly $3.18M per season. You can find our analysis here, but Anderson has only played 11 games with the team, so we were suspicious that he might not

An application for the General Manager position from a fan (part 3)

Yo Melnyk. I could go on and tell you about how better I am than these wrack GM candidates, but I thought I would just show you with my funky rhymes. So Melnyk, this is for you! Kick it! Straight outta Sunrise crazy blogger named Crooklyn Banks Binghamton's

An application for the General Manager position from a fan (part two)

Melnyk. Sup. In the coming days, you are going to see a lot of crap flying around here about who your next GM should be. But I call it crap because we both know that's exactly what it is. I'm sorry you'll have to

An application for the General Manager position from a fan (part one)

Dear Mr. Melnyk, It has come to my attention that your Ottawa Senators are now 477 points out of the playoffs, and that GM Bryan Murray is in the final year of his contract. Your vote of complete confidence in management, coaching, and players - nay, your insistence that this