The Ottawa Senators are frauds

Everyone who sucked last night sucks forever and needs to be waived immediately.

The Phillips era is over. It's time to put in Lundin.

I don't want to see Anderson in net the rest of the year. Hopefully we can find a trade partner before everyone realizes that he sucks. This should be Lehner's team now.

At least we traded that worthless sieve Ben Bishop before he dragged the team down like he's doing to the Tampa Bay Lightning. But I kind of wish we hadn't because if we lost enough games maybe we could win the lottery and get Nathan MacKinnon.

Cory Conacher? Oh my, what a bust he's looking like. Did you know he only has four points in eight games? And people are calling him a contender for rookie of the year? At this pace, he'd only put up 41 points on a full schedule. That's not even good enough to play on the second line when I play NHL '13. Second-liners are 30-goal guys, and he's just too small to ever get 30 goals. He's not going to help this team if they're lucky enough to make the playoffs, I guarantee it. Because he's small. I've seen it with my own eyes.

Alfie looks so sloooooooooooooow. Don't get me wrong, I love Alfie. But he sucks goat balls. Did you see what the Flames got for Iginla? I can't believe we didn't trade Alfie when we had the chance. If I were GM, I would have traded him to Boston for Tyler Seguin, Dougie Hamilton, and two firsts. Peter Chiarelli knows Ottawa, so that's a win for both sides.

Condra is awful. He belongs in Binghamton. Put Regin in--at least he could hit the net three years ago.

And Sergei Gonchar is worthless. I know he set a team record for assists but what's the team record for not assists? That record must be a mirage because Gonchar sucks. The way he fell over to spring Joffrey Lupul on that breakaway was pathetic. If Gonchar weren't so lazy, he'd probably stop diving trying to draw calls--WHICH NEVER WORKS--and actually play some defense.

Speaking of diving, Kyle Turris is worthless. I can't believe we traded away Rundblad for him. Phoenix knew what they had in him: a soft, selfish player who only cherry-picks his spots and doesn't try very hard to score goals. He's too small to be a first line center and not skilled enough to be a second-line center. Hockey players have to hit the net but all Turris does is wait for an open net, which is why so many goalies are able to stop him. He sucks times 100. I could score 10 goals if I had the same shooting opportunities as him.

Michalek's knees are shot. He had no goals last night so he must be slow now. Mark Stone is leading Bingo in scoring. Why is he not on the first line while Michalek re-evaluates his game from the press box?

Mika Zibanejad won four of ten faceoffs and had just one hit. I thought he was supposed to be this big, strong player? Well, we had a physical game and where was he? Not helping his team at all, and not throwing hits, that's for sure. Just another soft European who doesn't want to adapt to the North American game. I wish we had taken Sean Couturier instead. Did you know he was 11-for-16 on faceoffs last night? That's right. And the Flyers won, 5-3.

The power play is abysmal. Everyone keeps talking about how Paul MacLean should get the Jack Adams, but I just don't see it. How does a 4-on-3 not know to hit the open man on the back door? That's the kind of thing they teach you in pee wee hockey. I'm sorry, but that's on the coach. Meanwhile, Luke Richardson is doing an actual good job in Binghamton with a way worse roster. It's time to recognize that MacLean is an overhyped, overrated mistake--just another in a long line of Bryan Murray coaching mistakes--and give the reins to a real coach like Richardson. At least he played in the modern era and understands what hockey today is about.

Chris Neil had 8 hits last night. Zach Smith had 7 hits and won 10 of his 15 faceoffs. And Matt Kassian beat up Frazer McLaren. So at least a few guys came to play. Of course they're all Canadian. I'm so sick of seeing this team not being willing to do the work and try harder. Just look at the Maple Leafs. They only had 22 shots to our 50 but theirs went in because they tried so much harder than us. You could see Craig Anderson just give up on that Nazem Kadri shot because he knew his players would just get outworked anyway. Eugene Melnyk either needs to rename this team the Ottawa Passengers or have the balls to clean house and find a GM willing to take some risks, a coach willing to try something different, and players who are willing to fight through a few bumps and bruises and stay in the lineup, go to the net, and score some freaking goals.

Seriously. We have the worst team in the league. No one else has the struggles we have. That's why the officials are out to get us. Because they know we won't do anything about it. We're just cannon fodder for the big market teams, and Melynk is probably in on it.

And that's the truth.