A letter arrived in the mail for you. It had an uncommon European postmark. But that was definitely your name and address. A notary sent you the letter to inform you that a distant relative who had taken up residence in the Alps has passed away and left you their entire estate! You never even knew you had distant relatives living in the Alps (or else you would have gone skiing)! The notary also mentioned something about a catch before you can claim your inheritance—something about spending the night in a haunted castle with your favourite Ottawa Senator. That was really precise and unusual, wasn’t it? Oh, well! You had twenty-four hours to make the trek into the mountains (of madness?) and even less time to invite your favourite Sen. So, who did you pick?

Uncle Colin

I can think of plenty of reasons why you would have invited Colin. He’s a natural leader with confidence and poise. He’s the type of guy who plans ahead and always packs extra. He probably won’t spook too easily and he has a sense of innate curiosity balanced out with a rational, scientific mind. On the downside, he’ll probably fall asleep in his favourite chair before 10PM if he eats a big dinner and his snoring will scare away any of the ghouls you hoped to encounter.

Little Brother Brady

If you chose Brady, it’s because you came to party with these creatures of the night, even if it means you might not make it home in one piece. Brady is trouble with a capital “T” and he will absolutely implicate you in whatever he stirs up. I hope you didn’t get particularly attached to any of those chandeliers or suits of armour because your little brother is going to find some ghosts, or tear this castle down in the process. I’m honestly more worried for the monsters than I am for you. Just make sure he changes his socks and doesn’t eat too much junk food or you’ll both be grounded.

Big Brother Tommy

I’m guessing your plan was to charm the phantoms if you invited Hotsam Batcho. Even Count Dracula (or Chocula for that matter) can’t match Tommy when it comes to charisma and cool. Tommy can do a kickflip, beat all of your friends at Mortal Kombat, and will let you stay up past midnight if you can keep your mouth shut about it. I doubt any spectres or phantasms will mess with your big brother. And if they do, they’ll regret it. It’s a bummer that he’ll take the last soda and there’s nothing you can do about it, but them’s the breaks, kid.

Cousin Timmy

Up until recently, you didn’t even know you had a cousin in central Europe and, now, fortune has smiled upon you. You don’t really know what to expect from Timmy but everyone says nice things about him and he can help you out with some of the local customs and language barriers. Is it unreasonable to put so much faith in someone you know next to nothing about? No way, this is an adventure! Timmy can show you the best spot to get breakfast after a night of hauntings and there are a bunch of really avantgarde records he thinks you should check out.

The Twins Christian

Technically you were only supposed to bring one friend but I think you can sneak these two in as long as they wear a trench coat and one stands on the other’s shoulders. You’ll definitely have better luck against any werewolves you may encounter under the full moon or against any mummy’s curses that you may awaken, with your two best friends backing you up. Just remember to order an extra pizza. Oh and I hope this castle has a fold-out couch.

Old Man Marcus

While twenty-five still seems pretty young to me, he’s basically a grandpa to the other Senators on this list so he probably has some sweet wizard skills that can help you slow down any demons you encounter along the way. Marcus will probably stay back while you go out to determine what’s going bump in the night, but he’ll also bail you out if you get in over your head. Marcus seems well-versed in pagan folklore so the journey into the mountains will either turn out really fascinating or excruciatingly boring depending on how you feel about European history and culture. He only really likes ginger ale and soda crackers though so at least you get all the good snacks.

Spartacat

I mean, cats can see in the dark and climb stuff but Sparty seems like a bit of a scaredy cat so this one might be a wash.

All told, I probably left off a couple dozen perfectly valid candidates from this list so let us know in the comments section: who would you bring on your Castlevania adventure?