Who Are the Sens of Summer?

Once again, I need to thank one of my peers (Ross, this time around) for writing such a complete and thorough summary of the happenings in Sensland this week that I have nothing left to say on any of the pertinent (and sometimes tedious) storylines floating around the Ottawa Senators. So here you have yet another one of my flippant and irreverent satire pieces. My apologies in advance especially given the excruciating length of this one.

Every summer Sens fans inevitably hold up the tradition of debating which MLB team best captures the spirit of the Ottawa Senators. Is #BaseballSens still a thing? Anyway, this exercise depends largely on your ideas as to what defines the Ottawa Senators. For the sake of transparency, I wrote the following in search of a budget team, playing in a smaller market, preferably under unstable ownership, possibly with a crumbling stadium, that struggles to retain star players, and hasn't had much in the way of postseason success over the past 30 years (with bonus points for expansion teams). So let's resume the perennial quest, operating backwards alphabetically because why not?

New York Yankees

Okay, where do I start with all the ways in which the Yankees are not the Senators of baseball? 27 World Series wins, half of the players in Cooperstown wearing pinstripes, seemingly infinite financial resources, and I could go on but I won't. Assuming your understanding of the Senators' identity has to do with a smaller market team, out in the suburbs, with on- and off-ice struggles, wedged between two storied rival franchises, then how can you also like the Yankees? Even when they stink, they still spend a lot of money. And they've recently bought into fancy stats too. Hard pass.

Chicago White Sox

Considering how often I forget this team even exists, they might have something here. Yes, they play in a major US market but they also play second fiddle to the much more beloved Cubs. They have won a World Series in the past twenty years but it took them almost a century in between championships. The White Sox had last won a championship in 1917, the same year the Sens joined the NHL. A lot of dots are connecting here. However, most folks immediately think of the 'Black Sox' and the Shoeless Joe Jackson scandal when considering South Side baseball and I don't know that the Sens have an analog for that so the comp gets kinda dicey. Given their dormancy from the 1920s until the 2000s and their younger sibling identity, I think you can do a lot worse than the White Sox.

Minnesota Twins

Well considering they used to call themselves the Senators before they moved to the Twin Cities from DC, I might have a hard time refuting this one. The Twins enjoyed their most successful years in Minnesota in the late 1980s and early 90s just before the Sens came back to Ottawa. In the 2000s the Twins had a notable streak of making of making the postseason only to get knocked out in the division series. All of these factors plus the Twins' reputation as a small market/financially unstable franchise make for a strong case here. Even the saga of drafting Joe Mauer, watching him become an MVP, and then losing him to injuries while failing to provide him with any team-level success feels very Sens. Not a totally seamless fit, but I like it.

Detroit Tigers

I don't know about this one considering the same Ilitch family who owns the Red Wings also owns the Tigers and the Tigers have a bunch of hall-of-famers like Ty Cobb, Al Kaline, and Alan Trammell. But since the late 1980s, the Tigers have either qualified as really bad or just bad in the postseason when it really counts. For all the all-stars they've had in the past fifteen years, the Tigers have just one pennant to show for it and that 2012 World Series stunk about as badly as any I've ever watched (total score 16-6 for the Giants in a four-game sweep). The Tigers have an okay case but I'd take the White Sox or Twins first.

Kansas City Royals

Another team that has mostly played really lousy baseball during the era of the modern day Senators, the Royals enjoyed their last sustained success in the 1980s and one very weird blip of exceptional success in the mid 2010s. I guess those 2015 Royals almost kinda felt like the 2017 Sens except they actually won the pennant and the World Series. I like George Brett as an Alfie comp (except Brett actually won a championship (and played all 20 seasons in Kansas City). They play in the middle of nowhere and spend less than their cross-state rivals but I dunno if I can buy into the Royals as the Sens of baseball.

Colorado Rockies

Other than having a beautiful stadium in the Rocky Mountains, I think you draw a few parallels here. The Rockies came into existence shortly after the modern day Sens and won their lone pennant in 2007. The Rockies have always found themselves in the shadows cast by the Dodgers and Giants, scrounging what they can from the Diamondbacks. They have had even less team success than the Sens (good luck pitching in that altitude) with just one fluky post-season run to speak of. I think you could swing Todd Helton as a decent Alfie and Nolan Arenado reminds me a lot of Erik Karlsson. The purple will definitely throw some folks off though.

Cincinnati Reds

Other than the fact that they've had virtually no success over the past 30 years, I don't really like this comparison. I guess the fact that the Reds always get overlooked in favour of the Cardinals and Cubs helps their cause and Joey Votto has solid Alfie vibes. The Reds don't throw very much money around and they enjoyed all their success in the 20th century but still I can't shake the Big Red Machine. They won four pennants in the 1970s and produced three hall-of-famers during the dynasty years. I don't like it.

Boston Red Sox

No. Absolutely not. I hate them way too much. Take away that 86-year drought and you got nothing in comparison. They spend big, they have one of the oldest stadiums in North America, and everyone hates them. You'll need a separate article on whether the Yankees or Red Sox more closely resemble the Habs or Leafs. I can't stand any of them. These ain't the Sens of summer.

Tampa Bay Rays

Until the Lightning landed in the same division as the Sens, this one seemed like a perfect fit. Let's check off some boxes: 90s expansion team, financial struggles, location controversy, and mostly the inability to hold on to star players. Now unlike the Sens, the Rays have leaned hard into fancy stats to eke out what relative success they have enjoyed in recent years. Tampa also lacks in the vibes category. Ottawa has this unique identity linked to the fact that they play in the cradle of professional hockey civilization. Nobody gets gets nostalgic about Tampa's proud baseball heritage. Where the hell is St. Petersburg?

Texas Rangers

Based on the fact that, like the Twins, the Rangers used to be the Senators (yes, Washington had two iterations of the Senators and they both relocated) Texas has a surprisingly good case. They won their lone pennants in 2010 and 2011 (the 2011 Series ended especially brutally for the Rangers). The Rangers also played some decent baseball in the late nineties. Other than that, the AL West has not been kind to Texas. Michael Young has some Alfieness to him as did, to a lesser extent, Adrian Beltre. Other than that, the team name and the overall connection to the Republican party plus the A-Rod saga give Texas weak-ass vibes.

Pittsburgh Pirates

Given their lack of team success over the past over the past 30 (or 40 depending on your definitions) years, the Pirates seem like a good candidate but I hate the Penguins so much that I cannot compare a team from Pittsburgh to the Sens. They also had some good teams in the 1970s that produced some hall-of-famers (Roberto Clemente, Willie Stargell, and Bill Mazeroski). Alfie award goes to Andrew McCutchen but yeah the Buccos ain't the Sens even with their limited financial resources, playing in a division against rivals from bigger markets.

Philadelphia Phillies

I mean, I guess Philly used to be the capital city for what it's worth but the comparisons don't get much further than that. The Phillies have had the odd good season over the past 40 years but nothing consistent despite the fact that they play in a huge market and have the resources to compete. They probably more closely resemble the Flyers than the Sens. On to the next one!

San Diego Padres

If you can get past the geographical difference then this one might have some potential. Like the Rockies, the Padres operate in the shadows cast by the Dodgers and Giants. They won the pennant in 1998 and haven't done much else in the past 30 (or 40) years. Up until recently they didn't have much of a reputation for spending. They've had some good players come and good over the years but only Tony Gwynn and Trevor Hoffman stand out as noteworthy Padres. I don't like the whole military thing they have going and again no one would confuse southern California with eastern Ontario but I see a lot of other parallels.

Baltimore Orioles

Oh hell yeah now we're in business. Granted that Charm city is a little further away from DC than Kanata is from Parliament but you can use your imagination a little bit. Where the Sens find themselves in a division with the Leafs and Habs, the Birds have to compete with the Yankees and Red Sox. The Orioles have long operated as a budget team and their ownership makes sure to keep them in the news. Oh and then you have the relocation rumours and the handwringing over attendance. If you can get past the beauty that is Camden Yards then you should see a picture coming into focus here. Has anyone ever seen Dan Duquette and Pierre Dorion in the same room? Did you know that Bobby Ryan and Chris Davis have the same birthday? The Orioles had a respectable club throughout the 1960s, 70s, and 80s but most mostly stunk in the era of the modern day Senators. The Manny Machado era mostly coincided with the Karlsson era and now both teams have started to shows signs of life again. Obviously the O's get my vote.

Washington Nationals

The actual other capital city team and the city that used to actually have the Senators (twice) obviously deserves a lot of consideration but they also happen to be the former Expos and I can't forgive that pronounced of a Montreal connection. Plus the Nats just won a World Series in 2019 and have spent some big dollars when it mattered most. I also don't consider DC a small market and I think they can hang with the likes of the Phillies and Mets in terms of viability within their division. For what it's worth, Ryan Zimmerman did wear number 11.

New York Mets

Holy mother of god, how have we only gotten through half of the teams in baseball? We gotta start cutting these paragraphs short if we want to wrap this up before opening night. The Mets have a lot going for them. Not only are they an expansion team, their inaugural season was historically bad just like Ottawa's. They have a fraught history of organizational dysfunction and ineptitude but now have some very wealthy ownership and spend money like there's no tomorrow. They have two World Series titles to boast but most folks see those as flukes. David Wright definitely had a claim to the Alfie award in his prime. Before their sale in 2020, I would have considered the Mets a favourite for title of Summertime Sens but now I just can't.

Miami Marlins

Okay, here we go, a 90s expansion team with a hideous ballpark in a division with lots of storied rivals. Of course they had to spoil everything by winning the 1997 and 2003 World Series. And unlike a lot of other teams who went to the postseason a bunch of times only to fall short, the goddamn Marlins won two championships on their first two trips to the playoffs (as a wild card both times!). They also have six no-hitters in franchise history? Get these clowns out of here.

Seattle Mariners

Anyone even remotely interested in the Sens and MLB has had their hand up in the back of the classroom this whole time trembling fervently wanting to shout, "The Seattle Mariners!" And they're not wrong. Since joining the AL in 1977, the M's have made the postseason just five times and never advanced past the ALCS. They traded away Ken frickin' Griffey Jr., Randy Johnson, and Ichiro Suzuki. At least Edgar Martinez retired in Seattle. In a division with the likes of the Angels, Astros, and Rangers, the Mariners always have their work cut out for them. We might have a winner here, folks.

Cleveland Guardians

Another great option here as the Guardians last won a championship in 1948 (basically the same as the original Sens packing it up back in 1934). The Guardians definitely have a reputation as a cash-strapped team albeit in a division with a lot of cash-strapped teams and also the Tigers. Cleveland has had a bit of success in both the regular and post-season in the 1990s and 2000s but not too much more than the Sens. Can you name a legitimately great player other than Jose Ramirez who has stuck around in Cleveland? The last Cleveland hall-of-famer, Jim Thome, left in free agency and signed with the Phillies at the peak of his career. Given the city of Cleveland's place in baseball history, this one might have a shot at the title.

San Francisco Giants

I mean between the Barry Bonds era and the Buster Posey era and the beautiful ballpark in a beautiful city, do we even need to get into this one? They went through a 56-year title drought but they won three pennants during that span oh and they had some guy named Willie Mays on their team. I find the Giants very likeable, but they don't capture the spirit of the Sens.

Los Angeles Dodgers

Considering a lot of fans think of the Dodgers as the Yankees of the National League, I really don't have to waste too much time here. The Dodgers have a historic stadium in one of the biggest cities in the world, and they have the payroll to match. The Dodgers have won six championships and twelve pennants since moving to Los Angeles. Have you heard of Don Drysdale, Sandy Koufax, and Don Sutton? Of course you have. And just like the Yankees, the Dodgers have seriously bought into Sabermetrics even though they could theoretically buy their success.

Arizona Diamondbacks

Although a 1990s expansion team who plays in a division with two storied rivals, the D-Backs (atrocious nickname) won a World Series in their third season in the MLB (against the Yankees no less). And they do spend money sometimes. You may recall they signed Randy Johnson to a four-year contract during which he won four Cy Youngs (arguably the best free agent signing--ever?) after Johnson left Seattle for a rental stint in Houston. I don't have much else to add, the Diamondbacks have gotten more Sensesque in recent seasons with limited success since the Johnson years and more recently trading away franchise player, Paul Goldschmidt.

Chicago Cubs

Much like the Red Sox and the Giants, a very, very long title drought doesn't cut it for me in this exercise. The Cubs play in one of the biggest markets in North America and have plenty of financial resources plus a legendary ballpark. The Cubs have certainly had enough post-season failures to keep the Sens company but it has less to do with organizational futility and more to do with the fact that sometimes you lose to the Braves or Dodgers or Mets. That's baseball. The Cubs have had plenty over great players over the years. They just lost some big games.

St. Louis Cardinals

The other big, bad team along with Chicago in the NL central, the Cardinals have won an obnoxious eleven World Series and 19 pennants. They have over a dozen representatives in Cooperstown. Even if St. Louis isn't a city on the same scale as New York or Los Angeles, the Cardinals have nothing in common with the Sens.

Milwaukee Brewers

One of the younger siblings of the Cubs and Cardinals (and one of two teams to change leagues in modern MLB history) have had about as little team success as the Mariners with just a handful of postseason berths and one lonely pennant over 40 years ago. The list of all-time great Brewers basically starts and ends with Robin Yount (and Paul Molitor to a lesser extent). More recently, the departure of beloved players like Prince Fielder stand out as indicators of the teams budget-conscious nature. Along with the Padres, the Brewers might have the best case for Sens of summer among NL teams.

Atlanta Braves

Sweet jesus just five more to go, folks! Other than the fact that the Braves reside in Cumberland, Georgia (definitely not a known American city) and their streak of making the postseason, only to get eliminated, some 16 times in between World Series wins, I won't waste much time on Atlanta. They don't play in a big, fancy city but they have had some team success and have a bunch of representatives in Cooperstown with little in the way of heartbreaking departures. The more I think about it, the more I really don't like these corporately-owned jabronis.

Toronto Blue Jays

Okay now here I know I will draw the most ire from the reader base as a lot of you love the Jays so lemme just say it one time: I cannot in good conscious support any sports team from Toronto--ever. Like the Braves, the Jays have corporate ownership from a massive multimedia conglomerate. They play downtown in the biggest city in the country. The Jays have seen a lot of beloved players leave over the years but they also stink and I hate them.

Houston Astros

Prior to 2017 you could have made a strong case for Houston but in the five years since the Astros have become maybe even more hated than the Yankees and Red Sox. Yes, they won two World Series. Also they cheat despite having plenty of resources including a revered fancy stats department. I wish the Astros nothing but the worst in their future endeavours.

Los Angeles Angels

They play in sunny California and have plenty of money to spend. They had virtually no team success prior to the 2000s but won a World Series along the way. Surprisingly, outside of the obvious names (Nolan Ryan, Vladimir Guerrero, and Mike Trout) no great players have stuck with the Angels all that long. The Angels are kinda historically stinky but they're not the Sens.

Oakland A's

Yeah okay so maybe I went reverse alphabetical so I could build up to this one. Who's to say? Up until 1992 (a convenient year for our purposes) the A's had a great team who won a bunch of World Series and sent a bunch of players to Cooperstown. And they looked cool as hell in the process! Then the nineties came along and the iteration of the A's we know and pity today. While no one would mistake the Sens for a Moneyball team, a lot of the other identifiers of the A's hold true for Ottawa (arena problems, ownership problems, and the inability to retain talent). Like the Sens, the A's have had their share of postseason appearances in the 2000s but with little to show for their efforts.

Anyway, in  an attempt to finally wrap this all up, I ask you to simply read this one article summarizing the recent struggles of the Oakland A's and tell me if any of it sounds at all familiar to you. I mean, "Fisher Out?" That's our thing. Give it back. As much as I complain about co-existing with the likes of the Leafs and Habs, I can't imagine having to share a state with the Angels, Dodgers, and Giants (not to mention both Texas teams in the division). Stay strong, Oakland.